QF: Scotland 40 – 557 USA

Team USA delivered yet another masterclass in men’s roller derby with another near perfect game against Power of Scotland.

Scott Slamilton showed some fancy footwork like Michael Jackson on skates, practically moonwalking around the outside of the pack without breaking a sweat.

Becker was sickeningly adept at knocking the Scottish jammers off the track, turning on a pinhead and skating back twenty feet before the jammer could even take a breath.

Magnum and Sugar Boots were likewise the scourge of the Scottish attack, while Quadzilla could be heard from the opposite side of the hall marshalling his team mates on track.

The Scots knew they couldn’t simply sit back and leave their jammers to the mercy of the American walls and didn’t hesitate to offer assistance, but the US blockers were easily able to ignore and render it ineffective. The Scots began to go offensive from the jam starting whistle too but again it wasn’t enough to help their jammers.

Seconds before the end of the first period Scotland almost scored their first points of the game when Frank Not Sohotra was sent to the box. Mathieson and Nuke Jukem momentarily bagged themselves an American goat and Duff raced out of the pack, only to be sent to the box as well for cutting. The period finished 315-0 to Team USA.

Mathieson, WKDeid and Real Scrim Shady each made it onto a scoring pass in the second period too but whenever the Scottish jammer broke out of the pack and was on the verge of scoring the American jammer would call it dead straight away.

Eighteen minutes into the second period Scotland found themselves starting on a powerjam with Jonathan R in the box. Mathieson took to the line faced with only Becker and Streak and the crowd took to their feet to urge him on. The American pair held him back for what seemed like an eternity before he made it through to gain lead jammer and go on to score a grand slam.

Moments later Judderjam took advantage of another powerjam to score another grand slam with the crowd once again screaming the house down, followed by another three scoring jams for the Power of Scotland from the likes of Tequila Jammer and Nuke Jukem.

The late surge from the Scots was purely a consolation prize though as the USA closed the game 557-40. The remaining sides in the Cup bracket must really be thinking hard now about what they will have to do to upset the favourites, who play Canada in tomorrow’s semi-finals.

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